For over the course of 4months I haven’t been well. On the 4month I had a new health issue that the doctor isn’t sure about (no im not pregnant), which leaves me scared to eat, struggle when eating, nauseous, vomiting, bloating and stomach pain.
Over time all my hard work of losing weight and toning up is now non existing causing a huge effect on my health. Every time I look at myself I feel sick more sick at what I see, fat and ugly. I just absolutely hate looking at myself. If I could get rid of every single mirror in my house then trust me I would. I am sick to death of always being poorly and having to rest. Im not used to resting. I usually carry on regardless of how bad I am that day.
I’m usually so stubborn, but giving how working out when poorly makes me worse I thought lets just try resting dor a change, however now I’m bored and think all this resting I’m doing is making me more unhappy. Yes I’m poorly, and have chronic illness, yes I’m battling this new illness the doctors aren’t sure about, but im not about to give up now. As I always say to myself ‘life isn’t over just because I’m ill’ Not that resting is giving up, but for me it’s a killer. Fitness keeps me sane and happy even though it’s painful.
So here I stand again. You can’t see my bloated belly much at this angle, but if I was to stand side on you would definitely see it.
I took this photo and of course hated it straight away and even called myself some good awful names. But now here I stand hoping to eventually just love this photo. Being ill doesn’t make me more ugly, I am still me, the fact that I get through everyday even though I struggle makes me more stronger and feel powerful, posting this makes me proud of myself.
For all of you out there that have an illness. You are still and always will be Beautiful, Amazing, Strong and Powerful. Your illness does not define the WARRIOR YOU ARE.
Luscious Lips – Find me on Twitter @LusciousLipsLL